Intergalactic War is what me and my younger brother Terry play in the basement when we want to escape the sound of Mom and Dad arguing.

Me: Pew Pew! Got you with my laser gun, Terry!
Terry: Did not!
Me: Did too!
Terry: Yeah, well I just hit you with my freeze ray!
Me: (standing still) Curse you, moon aliens!
Terry: And guess what? I’m gonna blow up the whole Earth with this epic laser.
Me: Not if I blow up the moon with my epic laser first.
Terry: Hey. Don’t do that.
Me: Why not?
Terry: The consequences would be cataclysmic.
Me: (pretending to fire a large laser) Peeeeew-wowwwwwwww! Too late, just did, haha.
Terry: The chunks of debris from the explosion hurtle towards Earth, promising unfixable terrestrial transformation and certain death for millions.
Me: Jeez Terry it was just—
Terry: The surviving Moon People mourn the losses of loved ones, children, and spouses, in the mere moments they have left before their own inevitable deaths.
Me: Well, I guess my laser worked pretty good. Earth wins, right?
Terry: Yeah, if you consider the melting of Polar ice caps, rising sea levels, millions displaced, skyrocketing immigration, post-apocalyptic dictator-based governance, and an unstable axial tilt a “win.”
Me: I don’t understand where you learned all this. You’re seven years old.
Terry: I’m what Mom and Dad are fighting about.