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Crimson Parody
Spring ’26
The Lampoon's Spring 2026 parody of the Harvard Crimson
The Latest
Cuban Missile Crisis
Skin of my Teeth# • by MSS ’25
Newly released records reveal that the Cuban Missile Crisis only happened...
Final Notes On Pre-Launch Structural Integrity
Before I Go# • by SEH '26
Integrity of RMS Titanic seems somewhat dubious...
Ethical Zoo
Book Smart# • by LNW '27
Hey kiddos, welcome to City Zoo...
George Abofo
Skin of my Teeth# • by CLHC '26
It was a dark and stormy night...
Poll
Skin of my Teeth# • by LKN '25
So how are my numbers looking...
FUCKWAD, in which he... ...scams an elderly woman on Facebook Marketplace
Skin of my Teeth# • by JDF '28
This is the story of Jizzy Fuckwad scamming an elderly woman on Facebook Marketplace...
Guy on the Cross Next to Jesus
Before I Go# • by SEH '26
Robert: So, crucifying hard or hardly crucifying...
Detective Town
Before I Go# • by ZRRG '27
Detective Town is the safest place in the county because no crime goes unsolved...
Home From Outer Space
Skin of my Teeth# • by GMB '28
I can’t wait to see what my son’s been up to these past 20 years...
After the Flu Game
Book Smart# • by HTM '26
In game 5 of the 1997 NBA finals...
Rose Colored Glasses
Before I Go# • by CYL '26
When Billy was about five years old...
Intergalactic War
Before I Go# • by SEH '26
Intergalactic War is what me and my younger brother Terry play in the basement...
Deep Cuts
Camping On Desert Trails
Upside Up # • by FOD '24
My father was a man of few words, a cowboy in the truest sense of the word. This could often lead to...
The Beat Generation
Smellfungus # • by MAG '21-'22
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We ...
A Retelling of Jaws By Someone Who Has Definitely Seen It
For Your Consideration # • by FSS '21
Jaws…yes. Jaws is the story of a very big shark. Everyone knows that. Especially those who have seen...
How To: Hostage Negotiation
The POW! # • by CLHC '26
The most important part of hostage negotiations is being unafraid of failure. In fact, 90% of my hostage negotiations have ended in death...
B.R. Tanglord: Life, Literature. Legacy
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by MSS ’25
As detailed in the previous pages...
President Nice Guy
Sets in the West # • by HFJ '18
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving doc...
Telling My Dad I'm Pregnant
Upside Up # • by MAG '21-'22
-Dad, I’m pregnant.
-What?
-I’m pregnant.
-what is that?
-what is what?
-that word.
-I’m? It...
Geoffrey Sanders, World Explorer
All Natural # • by PKS '21-'22
Antarctica - There aren’t many permanent residents so the scientists make friends with penguins and ...
Lampy Goes to Bartaco
We Like To Have Fun # • by The Harvard Lampoon
What is the only thing Harvard students like more than telling people they went to school “right out...
Voice-Activated Lights
README # • by SMR '25
— I’m excited to see your new place finally.— Here, let me turn on the lights. AHHH! They’re voice-a...
WWII Telegram
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional # • by AWE '27
Shortly before the end of WWII, Hitler sent a last ditch telegram to the President of Mexico asking him to join the Nazi cause...
The History of Hats
Symphonia Fantastica # • by JPW '21
There are all types of hats, like silver or classic. But hats haven’t always dominated our collectiv...