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Crimson Parody
Spring ’26
The Lampoon's Spring 2026 parody of the Harvard Crimson
The Latest
In Favor Of Second National Girlfriend Day
Book Smart# • by JGLH '25-'26
Jeremy Bentham states that pain and pleasure...
Poo Gun
Skin of my Teeth# • by GMB '28
I was born with a poo gun in my hand...
Ethical Zoo
Book Smart# • by LNW '27
Hey kiddos, welcome to City Zoo...
Pickup Lines for Smart Girls
Book Smart# • by HTM '26
Wake up...
Poll
Skin of my Teeth# • by LKN '25
So how are my numbers looking...
There’s No Nobel Prize For Grilling
Book Smart# • by JGLH '25-'26
My greatest dream in life is to perfect the art of grilling...
Reading in the 21st Century
Book Smart# • by CYL '26
One day after school, my parents sat me down...
Hookup
Book Smart# • by BDL '26
Nobody has ever made it this far...
High School Movie
Book Smart# • by SEH '26
Babe, today is the first day of the rest of our lives...
Counting Cards
Book Smart# • by AGDP '26
Psst keep it up. If we pull this off right...
George Abofo
Skin of my Teeth# • by CLHC '26
It was a dark and stormy night...
White Boy Wisdoms
Skin of my Teeth# • by JGC '26
We visited JGC’s grandfather...
Deep Cuts
Birthday Card
The Celebration # • by RIP '09
GRANDFATHER: Here’s a card from me. Happy birthday.
SON: Thanks, grandpa.
MOTHER: Read it aloud!
...
At the Water Cooler
Upside Up # • by MAG '21-'22
(Water cooler noises)
-Hey man.
-Hey.
(Water cooler noises)
-Whatcha drinking there?
-Water.
...
How to Handle Being in a Long Distance Relationship
README # • by CYL '26
1) College is busy, so it is important to set up a schedule with your significant other. When the s...
New Cat
Break of Day # • by BWM '19-'21
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impotent we de...
Swingers
Suburbia # • by EAT '24
Growing up in the 70’s was crazy…Bell-bottoms, Reagan was an actor… The thing that defined the 70s f...
Waterfighter
The Posthumous Writings of B.R. Tanglord # • by GCL '27
Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a firefighter...
Algorithms
The ▵S=Sf – Si = ∫dQ/T # • by VIN '21-'22
Algorithms are all around us. You might not see or hear them, but they are present. They are there w...
Game Theoretic Standoff
Mutually Assured Destruction # • by JRD '22-'23
- Freeze, punk! I’ve got you in my pistol’s sights. You can either come over and let me handcuff you...
How To Get Delta SkyMiles Diamond Medallion Status
Imaginary Friends # • by SMR '25
Neil Klugman and Brenda Patimkin met days after...
The Flu Game
One Last Dance # • by HFJ '18
And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-range jumper!
...
New Best Friend
The Quixotic # • by SEH '26
This guy Brian showed up in my shower last night. The water wasn’t on, he was just reading a c...
Waking Up From A Coma
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional # • by AWE '27
Hey Bruce, how’d you sleep? I hope it was good, because we have a lot to discuss now that you’re awake. Remember Jibbly from our wedding...